oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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