how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
