I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
