i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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