How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
