I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
