Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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