I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize