I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
