my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You ate ashes out of my bong
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
