There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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