Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
