i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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