no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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