I seem to have left my pride at pride
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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