Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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