Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize