remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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