He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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