yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
