love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
