brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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