Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
