Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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