i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
