So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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