GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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