Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
