This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
