your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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