We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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