Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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