This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
