I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
