You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hate your face
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
