Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
