where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
