Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
