yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We left the knife in your bed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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