I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
