Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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