I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize