Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
