Me too!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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