yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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