dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
