singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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