while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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