I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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