I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
