Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Say something about gay babies.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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