Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
