literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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