On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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