I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
