He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize