I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
