Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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