even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
