FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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