Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
