Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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