got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
