glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
