apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish i was in the wii world.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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