I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
A bitchslap is in order.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
