best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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