Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
